The Time I Caved And Found A Therapist
It was about 8 years ago now that I was messaging a co-worker about my constant worrying and overthinking. It wasn't "normal" to be spiraling the way I had been for months.
My brain was on overdrive 24/7.
I had a tight/heaviness on my chest.
I couldn't seem to catch my breath.
I was crying at anything and everything wherever I was.
I couldn't "keep it together".
I was worrying about:
What I said last week
What I'm going to say at a friend's next weekend (or even next month!)
How I will or won't lose weight
I made a mistake at work and how was it perceived
And probably more crap I can't remember
I knew in my heart what I was going through was not how I wanted to continue to live my life. So I caved.
I sat at my computer and "Googled" for a therapist. I read a few reviews of different professionals and honestly, I was so desperate that I chose a name and called the number. I am so glad and proud of myself that I did.
Seeking help in the frame of mind that I was in, I felt like a failure because I couldn't figure it out on my own. But now, as I have a better outlook on life and fill my days with gratitude, I know that "failure" is not what I was that day...
I was brave.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, lonely, sad, can't catch your breath, constantly worrying, and more... I understand what you're going through. I've been in your shoes and some days I still have those emotions that over-consume me. I'm here to tell you that it does get better and easier to manage with practice and professional help.
You are not a failure for seeking help. You are brave, too.
Did I mention that my current therapist is my 3-4th one? Yup! So if you find that you don't mesh well with your therapist, it's okay to look for another! S/he won't take it personally. ;-)