• Amanda R

Believing In Personal Development


Last week I talked to you about 'spiraling thoughts' and the method I use to reel it in before it drags me down the rabbit hole.


Today, I want to talk to you about the importance of personal development.


This past week, I received my bridesmaid dress for a wedding I'm in (Yay!). It is a really flattering style and I love it. I remember trying it on in store a few months back and really felt beautiful and confident.


Fast forward those 3 months (or so... Who knows what the real timeline is anymore. These days are long AND short it seems like, haha) with a pandemic going on and I try on the dress. Now, I know I've put on a little weight since I've stepped down from online coaching and have been focusing on imperfect eating and my mindset towards food. When that dress came over my thighs and got a little more snug feeling, my stomach and heart sank.


I couldn't have gained that much weight! My jeans still fit. Kind of.


I could have gone from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds-- I'm fat. How could I let myself go like this? I knew I should've started dieting more seriously. I'm so dumb. I'm ugly. Now what am I going to do? I definitely can't gain anymore weight. I have to start cutting back on what I'm eating like carbs and sugar. I failed. I shouldn't have stopped coaching or tried something new with my style of eating.


But I didn't. I caught myself. Boy, did I want to cry though! I wanted to feel bad for myself. I wanted to say "See, you suck! You don't deserve to feel good." (Honest to God, I wish I was kidding.)


But I couldn't. I couldn't do that to myself.


I have practiced so much on positive self talk the last few years, worked on myself through finding ways to destress and build my own resiliency, that I have dug out new, positive pathways in my brain. My cup isn't overflowing with to do lists, of people pleasing, of money stresses, weight loss stresses. My cup is moderately full because I have shifted my priorities so I can handle every day stresses easier as well as bring down unnecessary stresses like the need to constantly lose weight or make money. (When I say 'constantly', I mean that I was thinking/worrying about those things obsessively 24/7.)


This is why I stand behind personal development so much now.


I definitely turned my nose up about it 5+ years ago. I thought it was all this woo woo shit and you couldn't get me to even listen to a minute of someone talking about self love and whatnot.


If it weren't for my self love practice and never throwing in the towel, I would be sitting on this couch, probably crying, feeling sorry for myself and bad mouthing my life and body because the dress I now have to wear is a little snug.


Did I mention that the dress I tried on at the bridal store was actually 1-2 sizes BIGGER than what I actually ordered? So, of course, the dress in store is going to fit amazing! Plus, other women had tried that on before me.


Personal development has taught me to slow down and think realistically rather than catastrophically.


Do you engage in personal development books, podcasts? What are some of your favorites?

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