My blogs will always have some type of mindset theme to them. I feel like the older I grow, the more personal development I do, the more I learn about myself and notice patterns. For example, I like to consider myself recovering from diet obsession. Ever since I was about 10 years old, I knew I looked different from my friends. I had bigger thighs, a stomach that stuck out further than most, arm flab peeking out of my tank tops when my arms were at my sides.
I was soo hyperfocused which lasted well into my late 20's. (That's over 15 years of diet obsession!)
I've tried over exercising in and out of the gym, cutting out food groups, counting calories and points, colored portion containers, food journaling. I've lost weight and kept it off for at most 4 years at a time. I've also gained that lost weight and plus some more.
As my body weight fluctuated, my mindset was the most consistent. My MINDSET about myself, the stress I put on myself to look good, to please other people... My MINDSET on how much of a failure I was for not being able to keep the weight off for good this time... It was all the same... year after year.
But this year. This last year has been different. It's been freeing, less stressful, less anxiety provoking... It's been more about loving myself first and going easier on myself and not depriving.
I don't diet anymore.
Everything I tried in the past doesn't work for me anymore.
I used to be ashamed of that ^. But I'm not.
This morning I weighed myself. I used to weigh myself every. single. day. Then I stopped. Then I tried it again until I started obsessing over that number again, so I stopped.
But today I weighed myself like I have been periodically for the last year.
I am at my heaviest. (Wow, that's hard to type, not going to lie) This is the second time in my adult life that I am this weight. But guess what?
I am lifting weights most days heavier than I ever thought I would be able to.
I am still fitting in my size 10 jeans (a bit snug, yes, but I'm not using a hair tie to button them).
I am still eating imperfectly, every day.
I am proud of myself for doing this for me and not to look good in front of other.
So what has changed the last 22 years vs this last 1 year?
My MINDSET.
**Did you sign up to get my FREE templated journal pack? This helped me shift my mindset around food, dieting and having greater control over my anxiety. There's still time to download it! I'll be sending out emails once a week to check in and answer any questions. Click here to sign up.